Speaking to Raj and Amit, both who are entrepreneurs in today’s market, I realised how the skill to take initiative is one that we consciously need to develop in our kids. Both are successful business men who decide to strike it out on their own for personal and professional reasons. Both agreed that it was only in their thirties that they had decided to do this and one of the key motivational factors was to be their own boss. They did not want to work for someone else. Moreover they enjoyed the fact that they could take the risk and push the envelope. It brought out their hidden leadership skills and the sense of responsibility to their own ambition.
As parents we regularly ask our kids “What did you do today?’”But how often do we ask them, “What did you begin today?” Do we actually believe that innovation and the need to take initiative are skills that kids need to develop? When we think of ‘new’ we usually think of new products.
Do we think of new ideas, new beliefs and new notions that we can cultivate in a child’s mind? Ever observed a four year old with a toy train? He wants to know what makes it run and usually tries to open it up to figure out what makes it run. Do we let him? No, we fear he might get hurt or at times worry how costly the toy train is. Systematically we destroy every initiative he makes to unravel mysteries for himself. Soon he curbs his curiosity and stops taking initiative. Parents love compliance. It just easier to manage a quiet, compliant kid than a thinking, questioning, curious little brat.
When I began Kangaroo Kids, Entrepreneurship was not what a parent usually wanted his/ her child to be in. But the scenario is fast changing. The age of the Entrepreneur is here. We have moved from the Industrial Age into the Conceptual age and now is the time to heed to Seth Godin who says POKE THE BOX.
The last century belonged to people who were ready to think out of the box. Innovation was the key to success and one needed to rebel against set rules if one had to move above the crowd. We are a generation that is unlearning what we learnt .But are we still teaching our kids the same? We have to teach them to not just think out of the box but to poke the box. The space above the crowd is also getting crowded now. With increased awareness about thought processes that can move and shake the world, we have travelled over a decade into the new millennium and the time for a paradigm shift in thought process is slowly hovering over the horizon.
With job markets getting stale and economies going for a toss, the biggest alternative that an individual today has is to strike it out on his own. His conviction, his passion fuelled by his needs will determine the trajectory he chooses to follow. If Robert Frost took the path less trodden, the winner of tomorrow needs to tread the path that he decides to create for himself.
And this is where we can gift our kids with the biggest skill and attitude of the times: the guts to initiate. Seth Godin’s book talks about how to take initiative at the corporate level but the insights he offers can just be transferred to parenting.
Just ask your kids to write down two lists: What they are allowed to do and what they are not (by you). You will find that they are able to complete the longer ‘not allowed’ list faster than they are able to complete the ‘allowed’ list. This is because its innate human nature to remember what he is not allowed to do as that gives him the choice to rebel against it. Ask him what he would want to do the most in the not allowed list (and if it doesn’t fall in the realm of endangering life, then let him take the initiative to do it.)
Boundaries are usually in the mind. We have so many boundaries for ourselves that we transfer the boundaries to our kids. So the next time you daughter tells you she wants to be a rock star, get her a guitar. Let her poke the box.
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