Are you listening?

“You know that sympathy you feel for an abused child who suffers without a good mom or dad to love and care for them? Well, they don't stay children forever. No one magically becomes an adult the day they turn 18. Some people grow up sooner, many grow up later. Some never really do. But just remember that some people in this world are just older versions of those same kids we cry for” ~ Ashly Lorenzana

On the 13th of September 2013, the country heaved a sigh of relief when the four accused in the ‘Nirbhaya rape case’ were sentenced to death. The nation rejoiced as one of her daughters had finally found justice. The rape case and the sentence are but just the tip of a dangerous iceberg. 

The sentence also led the nation to debate it at various level; political, socio-psychological and socio-economic. While some argued that death sentence is not a viable democratic option, many did feel that this was the only deterrent; only stringent measures could eliminate the vilest of all crimes. 

Being a woman, while I totally empathise with these arguments; the educator in me also sees the futility of these exercises. History has proved that violence never deters violence. If lessons were to be learnt from history then post the two world wars we would have seen a patient, loving and all embracing humanity. The history of the world would have not been spotted with the hundreds of battles, wars, riots and rapes that it currently has. 

Lots has been written on why men rape. The sense of power that they enjoy ;the social insecurity they face from women who are more successful than them in the personal and professional spaces, the sense of gratification which they perceive by controlling and vindicating another human being and many such more are usually enumerated as the major reasons .

The crux of the issue however lies in the subconscious of the assaulter. Children grow up seeing their fathers abuse their mothers, the men folk of their village or city giving little or no respect to women in social spaces. Advertisements, jokes, movies and other forms of entertainment usually target women. The body of the woman in commoditised over and over again at the social level, while the responsibility of maintaining her dignity lies solely at the individual level. 

Research has shown that most sexual abusers belong to broken families. Interactions between the parents which create the base for childhood experiences influence the adult behaviour of many an abuser. Witnesses and victims of domestic violence veer towards violent tendencies later on in life. The suppression of emotions and the lack of communication at the adolescent ages is also an angle that needs to be explored. Very frequently parents do not want to discuss emotional and sexual issues with their children. Children are frequently told that it is bad to talk about such stuff. Unanswered questions in their mind lead to unguided actions.

When children are unable to foster trust in their parents, it develops into a lack of trust in everyone they meet in their later lives and this fosters the need to enforce power and superiority on all. Sexual abuse is a way of maintaining the power equations in their head. At the core of most socially inappropriate behaviours is the fact of being socially inadequate; of being constantly told that one is worthless and useless. When children are abused, they develop the inability to regulate their emotions and express them in a positive way. The suppression of emotions also leads to its expression in different ways which may be form alcoholism to sexual perversion. 

In 2007, a government of India conducted a research on around 12000 along with Unicef and Save the children. The study of these children revealed the most shocking results. Around 50 % of them admitted to being sexually abused.

(http://www.friendsofsbt.org/statistics)

Statistics reveal that there has been a 336% increase in child rape cases from 2001 to 2011. And yet again this is the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Most child assault cases go unreported.

(http://feministsindia.com/tag/child-abuse-statistics/)

While a lot needs to be done at the governmental level by means of legislation, the educational system in India is a powerful force of reform that needs to be harnessed to usher in change. 

Schools and other educational institutions need to be pivotal in playing a vital role to usher in change. When we develop strong positive children in our schools, we nurture a safe world for our future. While the government’s intent on getting the RTE into place is praiseworthy, the more impelling consideration should be the right to safety. Are our children safe in their private and public spaces. 

What do educational institutes do when cases of child abuse get reported in their schools or colleges? Do they have child protection services on their campuses? Do they have counselling programmes for the children? The recent incident at the Manipal University/ (reputed university?) campus where a female student was kidnapped and raped on her way back from the college library is a case in point. A safe place till date, the University is now on tender hooks. Most educational institutes never prepare for such an eventuality because they believe such things don’t happen in their organisations. 

Short term solutions like expelling the offender may not provide the safety that individuals are looking for. People are open to sexual exploitations in schools, colleges and work places. Every organisation should have a counselling centre especially schools and colleges. There need to be safe places where children can speak up about what happens to them. 

Billabong High has been instrumental in giving voice to our students. The Chuppi todo campaign that was a part of all our schools stands testimony to this. 

(http://www.indiaprwire.com/pressrelease/education/2010081258932.htm)

The campaign aimed at teaching children the differences between good touch and bad touch. Awareness is the key to protection. It aimed at drawing the attention of parents to this oft neglected topic . It also told children to be open to their parents, teachers or any adult they could trust so that such incidents do not scar their lives. The key word is ‘trust’. Are our adults trustworthy? 

In India talking about sexual abuse is usually nonexistent. It’s often believed that ‘such things don’t happen in our family’. Statistics reveal that around 68% of child abusers belong to the family of the child concerned. Around 90% of sexually abused children revealed that they knew the perpetrator prior to the abuse. So the friendly ‘uncle’ or the loving ‘aunty’ in the neighbourhood may not be that friendly and loving after all. We revel in denial. We revere ‘family name’ and we constantly cover up such incidents. 

As parents the roads of communication need to be open. A recent video doing the rounds on you tube sends out this message very strongly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d31GbzRvrr8.

Our child could be telling you something. But are you listening?

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It’s A Left Hander’s World Too!

The world has been inquisitive, amazed and even scared of them. They have been looked upon as objects of curiosity. People never understood why they do things the way they do. The right handed population has always had the upper hand in life compared to the Left Handed.

Almost 10% of the people are predominantly left handed. About 1% of the people are ambidextrous i.e they use either hand for doing daily tasks.

In most civilizations and traditions across the world, the left hand has been considered the impure one or the unholy one. It has also been traditionally believed that the left hand brings bad luck. In India we never hand out or receive anything with the left hand.

Left handed children have often been accused of being clumsy and not being able to do things ’properly’. Quite frequently parents have tried to ‘rectify this defect’ in their child and forcefully ensure that the child uses the right hand. But the right hand for a left handed child is the left one.

The brain is divided into two hemispheres: the right and the left. The left brain controls the right side of the body and the right brain controls the left side of the brain. Research has proved that the functioning of the brain is to a great extent responsible for the handedness of a person. Left handed people thus usually have very active right brains.

Most babies begin to use both the hands simultaneously. It’s usually by the age of five that infants begin to show preferences for the use of their hands.  In most people where the right side of the body is the stronger side, inputs are taken from the right eye, the right ear and the rest of the right body and passed on to the left side of the brain. In left handed people it is seen that not only is their right brain more active, they are very comfortable with simultaneous, bi hemisphere processing of data.

There is enough research to prove that it not just the dominant side of the brain that affects the handedness of a person. A number of factors go into it like the genetics and the foetal development. Research is still trying to discover if the levels of testosterone in the womb at the time of foetal development has anything to do with being left handed as it has been noticed that among lefthanders, the majority are male.

So being left handed has more to do with genetics and brain dominance than evil and bad luck. The left handed child is not clumsy. He is a left handed child trying to manipulate things made for predominantly right handed people. From keyboard designs to door handles, to cars, everything is created for a right hander. The fact that left handers are more ambidextrous only displays the plasticity of their brains to adapt to situations. It has also been found that right handers are not as dexterous with their left one as are left handed people with their right one.

Being able to process data between both hemispheres faster and better, left handed people have an advantage in many areas of sport and learning. Research has shown that the top 20% of all Mensa members are left handed. It has also been noticed that left handed people are better at multi-tasking and yes, better at playing video games! They may be more visual based learners and hence far more oriented to follow the creative arts.

As parents you make a note of which hand is dominant in your toddler. Initially most children are ambidextrous and will soon figure out which is their own dominant hand. See what hand he uses to eat, pick up toys, write and paint.  Speak to the teacher at school so that your child is placed on the left hand side of a desk which leaves him free to be able to write.

While teaching your child how to tie shoe laces or bows sit in front of them and demonstrate. Thus they get the mirror image of what you are doing and thus is becomes easier for them to learn these skills. At the same time do not try to change too many things for the left handed child because, at the end of the day he has to navigate in a world which may not be so kind. But don’t at any time try to rewire his preferences. Left handed children learn how to negotiate a right handed world in their own way. In fact a typical qwerty keypad has 3500 words that can be typed with only the left hand while there are only 450 words which can be typed using only the right hand.

Encourage and motivate you child just in case he gets too hassled working out things for himself. Remind him that famous people like Mahatma Gandhi, Bill Clinton, Ravi Shastri, Charlie Chaplin, Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Twain are all lefthanders.

August 13^th is the International Left handers day. 

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Mind your Music!

“Music makes me forget my real situation. It transports me into a state which is not my own. Under the influence of music I really seem to feel what I do not understand, to have powers which I cannot have.”  ~Tolstoy

Kangaroo Kids celebrated the 20th year of igniting human greatness with a live concert of the world renowned Buddhist nun and singer Ani Choying Drolma. The evening catapulted everyone present into a world of peace and calm. Almost everyone I met after the programme told me how they felt a sense of calm after the ‘satsang’ as Ani called it.

Music had proved to be a powerful change agent yet again. People came in with a million thoughts in their mind; about husbands, wives, office deadlines, exams, the rains and everything in general. But music changed them all. They went out happier people; calm relaxed and more focussed on their inner self.

While we agree that it is so vital to retain inner peace and calm in our otherwise agitated lives consciously how many of us as parents and teachers try to infuse music in the lives of our children?

Music has held man in her sway since time immemorial. Music represented happiness and joy. Festivals and celebrations are always associated with music. Entertainment relies heavily on music.

Music can be introduced into a child’s life very early. There are, in most cultures so many songs which are traditionally believed to have deep impacts on the child in the mother’s womb and many ‘to-be’ moms have spent their days of anticipation listening to these songs. Though such theories have not been scientifically proven, what scientists do agree upon is that if the mother enjoys the music she is listening to and is in relaxed state of mind, the unborn child benefits from that state of mind.

Children can be introduced to music at very early stages. Playing classical music while children are busy with any activity like feeding or playing is always welcome. Implicitly they pick up music. Music offers lifelong learning for children.

Children in the age group of 1 to 3 benefit if they are actively involved with music. They love to sing and dance and that’s why we see most preschools focusing on music and movement. Music gives them a sense of rhythm and there is a lot of brain development happening when they are clapping, tapping, shaking their head, marching and rolling to music. Music thus helps develop multiple brain and muscle activity and most of this learning happens unconsciously and does impact the subconscious mind of the child.

When we listen to music the brain is activated in varied areas. It does some computational tasks that help it wire and rewire itself in powerful ways. Research is yet to figure out how deep the impact of music is and how complicated the computations are. But scientists are pretty sure that the music you hear as a child influences your taste in music as you grow older.

Research also shows how music helps develop various skills. Music and math go a long way together. There is enough research to prove that training in music does help enhance the math skills of an individual. Music targets, among the varied parts of the brain, that particular area that deals with the development of math skills. Music will not help create a mathematical genius but will help develop the same part of the brain which is used to do math.

Learning to read and interpret music is as beneficial as learning a new language. While mastering the syntax and semantics of music new pathways are created in the brain. These then rework on existing pathways and get the brain to think and process differently .Thus music helps increase the levels of creativity in an individual.

There are simple ways of introducing music in the lives of children.

Pick out musical tracks that can play in the background when you read aloud to them. Pick and choose the song to the mood of the story and always play the same song when you read out a particular story. Though association children will link the song and the story and make multiple connections in their mind.

Infuse dance along with music. Ask your children to dance to the tunes. They could interpret the music in the way they want. They will develop a sense of rhythm, balance and coordination. The power of creating their own dance piece is very powerful and will keep their creative juices flowing.

Simple activities like creating a paper plate drum or a simple jaltarang will bring music and rhythm in their lives. Just pin up two paper plates together with a few beads or tiny pebbles inside them. You have a simple percussion instrument ready. Arrange a series of bottles or cups with varying levels of water. Hit notes on them with a metal spoon. Your jaltarang is ready!

Play music at home while you are doing your daily tasks. Playing music while you children are doing their homework or even playing boards games helps a lot. Soon you will have your children developing their own taste in music and wanting to play and learn music for themselves.


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Why This Kolaveri Di

The guru shishya parampara in India is an ancient and revered practice. The ancient texts speak about how students used to live with their teachers, and learn what has to be learnt. They learnt the skills of their trade and left the ashram only when the teacher felt that they were equipped to handle their designated roles in society. During this tenure, students were monitored emotionally and psychologically by the guru. The guru knew the strengths and weaknesses of each and every student and hand held him individually; modifying course content till the desired level of proficiency was reached by the student. Education was personalised, the guru was committed and the student was devoted lifelong.

Is the situation today the same? We read and hear of students turning against their teachers. Recently there was a case in Chennai where the teacher was killed by a student. This only brings me to the question ‘Why this kolaveri, di?’ (Which I have been told means why this murderous rage?)

A friend, also a parent of two growing teenagers recently commented, “Its difficult being a kid nowadays. Clothes, mobiles, game machines, academics, the lack of role models and the competition: all are there out for a child to face.” And all this bottles up in the child sometimes converting itself into rage: a rage that is also the culmination of unheard and stifled voices. In classrooms with around seventy kids teachers lack the time, resources and patience to listen to each and every student.

How do we help our teachers work around such situations?

Someone once said, “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.” I beg to differ. Teaching is a highly specialised field dealing with the future of several generations to come. Each teacher in her career deals with a minimum of 15 generations. So one can only imagine the impact a teacher has in the life of a nation at large. Teacher education and in service teacher training is highly essential for our teachers to be able to handle the emotionally charged students of today. Teachers need to be people who are trained and equipped to handle these high pressure jobs. They need to be content masters and at the same time pedagogically sound to handle the emotional outbursts of their students.

The responsibility of the well being of a student is surely a combined one and it is up to the both the stakeholders i.e. the parents and the school to meet and discuss the issues that plague the child. Rarely is the initiative taken by the school or the teacher. And this is largely, not just because of the heavy workload of teachers but due to the lack of appropriate training for the teacher. The teacher needs to be trained to have a discerning eye to notice any voice of dissent in any student and initiate to resolve this with the student and the parents.

In-service training is highly essential to maintain the quality of teachers. During pre-service training most student-teachers are just out of their youth and do not usually have the maturity and life experience to take on the mantle of other lives. But as they go ahead in their career, they get trained by the job and by their interaction with their students. And this is where in-service training is very important. As teachers move ahead in their careers, they tend to get rigid and fixed about their ideas, their teaching practices are rarely renewed and their mind sets get reinforced. Refresher courses are essential to into their lives new theories of education, the latest trends in the educational field and ideas that will help break existing mind sets. A constant regeneration of ideas helps bridge the gap between the teacher and the student. What we need to remember is that the age gap between the teacher and the student is increasing with every passing year and the teacher deals with increasingly younger age groups. If the connect between the teacher and the student is not renewed time and again then the generation gap will stare into the face of the teacher.

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Reading Is Right

Srishti works as a senior manager in a multinational and is highly upset with the new batch of trainees that have entered her organisation. “Every year the problem seems to be getting worse”, she complains, “These guys can’t even draft a letter properly. If I ask them to quote someone, they wouldn’t have even heard of the names! I wonder if they read anything while they were growing up. I give them a list of books to read and they hardly manage to finish even one over a three week period. They are good with their content but when it comes to reading, they just don’t want to go beyond the newspaper!”

This is not an isolated case. One of the major problems faced by many senior level managers today is the resistance of employees to reading new stuff. A sense of complacency settles in lives of many people once they have finished their college education and are well placed in their jobs. The only reading that many adults do is that of the daily newspaper. Mark Twain once remarked, “If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed, but if you read the newspaper, you are misinformed.”

The key to survive the competitive market today is communication. The most important tool that aids communication is good language. And good language stems from good reading.

Michael Gove, the Education Secretary of the United Kingdom has said that kids should read at least 50 books a year. This follows a study undertaken by him on the falling standards of reading among teenagers in the UK.  Research shows that the chances of a seven year old owning a mobile phone is 90% higher than him owning a book.

That brings us to the question of the day. How do we address Shriti’s problem? Are we rearing a generation that is slowly losing out on the reading skills? If the answer to this is yes, then it’s time we got up and took stock.

I can hear voices that ask me, why do we need to read? If it’s for information: then it’s all there on the internet. If it’s for entertainment, then I have a movie to watch or a game to play? Why something as passive as reading?

And this is exactly where the misconception lies: Reading deceptively looks passive but is highly active in nature.

Reading activates synaptic connections in the brain that impact other sensory interpretations also. Recent research by the neuroscientist Stanislaus Dehaene indicates that reading actually improves the way the brain functions in a number of important ways. While the mind tries to discover how the characters feel and respond it also tries to see, hear and think like them. Meanwhile it tries to decipher counter arguments for the ones placed in the book.

“Most of my trainees”, says Srishti, “inform me that they never read anything but school text books through school. They were never encouraged either. A few of them read despite their schools but stopped somewhere down the lane”. This is why reading needs to be cultivated as a habit for life. It’s not difficult to get kids hooked on to reading. We just need to figure out what is it that encourages them to read. Without trying to impose what we think is right reading, we need to encourage the reading habit .If your kid loves fiction hand him ‘The diary of a Wimpy Kid’. If she adores nonfiction, the latest National Geographic could just do the trick. The process into initiating kids into reading has to be pleasant. Many kids read all their school books but do not step out of that domain. Forcing kids to read will only drive them further away.

Set up a reading time at home when all members of the family only read. Switch off the television; keeps your mobiles on silent; answer them only if there is an emergency and enjoy the reading session. Let your kids read light material if they do not want to read a novel. Display good books around the house. Some day she will be curious enough to pick it up. Take them book shopping, when you shop only for books and nothing else. Get them a library membership. Read the book she is reading and discuss it with her. That sends out the signal that you care about what she reads and you share his tastes. It might motivate her to want to pick up what you read so that she can discuss it with you!

Reading helps create pictures in the mind. These connections are highly important to the development of the brain. Programs on television offer the brain pictures and the brain finds accepting this less challenging .Hence it doesn’t take in as much. Ask anyone who has watched a movie made on a book they have read, they will always tell you that the movie disappointed them. The images of the movie clash with their mental pictures of the book and someone else’s idea in the movie never comes up to the movie in their own mind. I never found Dev Anand’s Raju Guide as delectable as R. K. Narayan’s.

This is where the genre of comics plays an important role. Super heroes fascinate. So let them revel in the world of Phantom, Superman, Batman or any other legendary hero. The Amar Chitra Katha Series is a major source of edutainment and has held generations captivated. Comic reading abounds in fantasy and fiction. The light reading that it provides along with images has the motivational power to get kids to read heavier stuff at their own discretion. 

Shristi noticed that her trainees used the most basic vocabulary. Even if she sent them back their project reports, they never came up with outstanding work. Most adults often find themselves stuck up for words. This is because they lack a vocabulary at their beck and call. The brain divides vocabulary into active and passive. Active vocabulary is relatively easy to recall and used regularly. The passive vocabulary however is in the subconscious mind, which comes to the fore when needed. The passive vocabulary bank is built when one reads and deposits words in them. The brain then attempts to use the words appropriately.

Shrishti also realised that most of her trainees were as comfortable with technology as they were at ill ease with books. Every succeeding generation is exposed more to technology than ever before. Every home today is a technology treasure trove with innumerable gadgets that garner attention of kids. These offer games, songs and other predetermined programs that have limited value in igniting the greatness of each individual mind.  They keep the kids entrapped with their glamour and glitz .A growing dependence on the internet, search operations, algorithms to monitor what sites we visit ensure that we are flooded with similar material at all times. Reading becomes the poor second cousin.

Can we then tap the power of technology to get kids to read?

E readers like Kindle and Nook offer books on the computer. Though most of them are on sale, there is a vast store house that allows free download of books. With technology in their hands, they feel they have something that belongs to them and something that they identify with. The iPad is also equipped with a good e reader.  

The internet readers today have so many options to choose from. The moment they figure out that content doesn’t engage them they move on the next link. This is increasing their level of intolerance towards reading. But this can also be used to their advantage. Accessing different stories simultaneously, the reader draws by his own path of natural curiosity to reach some option that he may never even have considered reading .The internet has the capacity to take people on a tour of self discovery.

You might not have kids reading 50 books in a year but half an hour a day of sound reading will lead to lifetime of experiences. Real or virtual, reading books is a life skill.

Confucius opined “No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self chosen ignorance.” These ring true even today.

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Empower The Brain

The human brain is the most complex organ in our body. Its capabilities are infinite. While research on its potential is an ongoing process, the available data is yet to be put into use by the education system in our country.

Research shows that the brain finds it simpler to learn complex things. Information that is straight and simple is not challenging enough for the brain. It does not retain it. That is why we forget the 100 odd movies we have watched in our lifetime but we do remember that one movie which has affected us. This is because that one movie was complex in its situation, its artistry or its creation and that motivated the brain to retain that in our memory.

Most parents and educators believe that we need to simplify things for our kids. We presume they do not understand complex ideas. Research has proved that this is not true. John Medina, (author of Brain Rules) in his book speaks about a simple experiment that anyone can do. Take two groups of people. Give both the groups a list of words. Ask Group One to figure out the diagonal lines on the words. Ask Group Two to associate these words with experiences from their lives. Now take away the lists and after a few minutes ask them to write down words from the list. You will be surprised by the results. Group Two remembers more number of words as their task was more complex. The brain does not retain to memory very simple and monotonous tasks.

The most complex skills are learnt by a baby on its own. The baby learns to crawl, to sit, to toddle and to walk. The brain does the most complex learning early in life and on its own. The brain has evolved to learn by itself and is not meant to follow instruction. Yet we insist on giving instructions to our kids on a minute by minute basis!

“So do you want me to leave my kid all by himself till his brain teaches him how to live in this world? How is he going to survive?” I can almost hear you asking. Well, that’s how the brain has evolved... it has evolved to survive. It has evolved to think things out, to figure out relationships, to feel and emote, to figure out what information is important for its survival.

And that is why today’s kids are wired to technology. It is important for their survival. They instinctively know that they need to learn how to figure out technology before they figure out how to walk and talk. Kids as young as eight months can manipulate remote controls and iPad applications.

The brain is wired to explore and enjoy. It enjoys exploring complex stuff rather than plain and simple things. But as kids grow up we bombard them with so many instructions that soon the brain gives up its ability to explore and enjoy and chooses to just follow. We then deem this as the innate inability of our kids to learn things on their own; especially complex things. We begin to dumb down information so that we make it child friendly.

Every experience that we have adds to the capacity of the brain. By restricting experiences to the kids we reduce the development of the brain. Research shows that a healthy adult human brain has about 100 billion active nerve cells (sounds a lot but is only 20% of what we start with). By the time we enter adolescence our brain has chosen the nerve cells it will keep throughout adult life.

The more open we are with allowing our brain to dynamically change every moment, the more we allow our brains to grow.

Let us not limit our potential. Let us empower our brains.

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Look Within The Soul Of A Special Child

The Oxford dictionary defines autism as ‘a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by great difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.’

Autism is a condition that needs to be handled with maturity and care.  In India autism awareness is growing. From labelling such kids as mentally retarded, the society is slowly opening itself to include them in mainstream activities.

But a lot remains to be done. Parents and teachers play a very important role in this. The first thing is acceptance. Once parents accept that their offspring is autistic, half the battle is won. I know it’s very difficult for parents to accept that their kid is different. But from acceptance springs inclusion. Once the mind finds itself in sync with the situation, finding the way out is easier.  Parental guidance and teacher monitoring of autistic kids helps them develop a variety of skills to handle life in a better fashion. Enjoy your child; he loves you unconditionally.

The spectrum of autism disorder cannot be defined in the initial stages. Let your child enjoy his childhood .He has a lifetime to mange things for himself. Let him discover himself as you too discover him. Ignite the greatness in your kid.

I have listed here some simple techniques which I know help  ensure the development of autistic kids in a holistic manner:
1. Prepare a background to what is happening in the classroom: Coordinate with the teachers at school. Find out what is planned for the week ahead. Prepare a base for that at home. Get him to read the textbooks or discuss the stories in literature. Do the science experiments at home. I have noticed that classroom interaction becomes easier as there is previous knowledge working at the subconscious level.
 

2. Nudge and prompt: Nudge and prompt them during the learning process. This makes it easier for the kids. They know that they have a helper in you. Your prompting motivates them to do better.
 

3. Supervise: Studies have shown that autistic kids under supervision work better than those left unsupervised.  When there is no supervision, autistic kids feel the lack of positive reinforcement and thus are not motivated to move ahead in their tasks. It is my strong belief here that subconsciously the child knows that they have an anchor in the adult around them.
 

4. Schedule: Prepare schedules for them. Autistic kids work best with strict schedules. Discuss any change in the schedule with them. Avoid surprises.  If possible depict the schedules as picture timetables. Work out on coded images for various tasks. Draw up a picture timetable. Autistic kids relate to images more than the written word.
 

5. Encourage peer tutoring and cooperative learning: When they mix with peers, they learn faster and better. Talk to the parents of other kids in their class.   Get their friends home. Let them work in peer study groups. This is a symbiotic relationship. And it’s my personal faith that both groups of kids benefit.
 

6. Create safe zones: Colour code your homes. Demarcate danger zones with RED. They will get the point.
 

7. Look out for non verbal clues: The autistic child is like a painting. He doesn’t speak through his words. You need to interpret him, not just understand him. Look for patterns in his behaviour; watch out for the non verbal clues.
 

8. Have fun: Don’t stress yourself and the kid with therapy. There is life beyond therapy. Enjoy his childhood like you would any child’s. Create opportunities for him to smile, laugh and holler. Hit the play ground, run amok on the beach, rollercoaster through rides at the amusement park. Instinctively autistic kids know which activities are therapy and which are sheer fun. They enjoy fun. Encourage them .The positivity that play generates will traverse other realms of life. My personal belief towards work stems from the fact that work is not work when it becomes play
 

9. Keep track of their sensitive senses: Most autistic kids are sensitive to touch, smell, taste and sound. Notice which of these has a calming effect on him and which triggers negativity. Track them and avoid the ones that disturb him.  A little care will enable to create better experiences. And this I am sure will enable us , parents and teachers to become more sensitive and nobler souls
 

10. Join support groups: There are lot of support groups online and offline. Join them. They really help to keep you motivated and kicking.
 

11. And the most important decision-choose the right school: Ensure the school follows an inclusion policy. The more autistic kids interact in a regular school, the more opportunities do they get to bloom. Schools with strong inclusion policies will ensure that there is constant interaction between you and the teacher. Parents opting for an inclusive school come with a higher level of awareness and willingness to accept. Kangaroo Kids And Billabong High schools reflect my vision through their inclusive policies 
 

2nd April is celebrated as Autism Awareness Day. For further information please check out: 
http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/waad
http://www.tacanow.org/

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Curriculum Is The Cure

My previous blog spoke about what is generally haywire with the assessments that are happening at large in our country. And even as I thought about the issue, my mind was racing to think about where the solution to this entire premise could lie.

Dorothy De Zouche, a teacher in from Missouri, way back in 1945, once said, “If I can’t give a child a better reason for studying than a grade on a report card, I ought to lock my desk and go home and stay there.” And yes, her words ring true even today. Schools need to create learning experiences that do not culminate just in grades.

The question here is how?

The answer lies in creating a curriculum that is strong enough to harness the needs of a growing generation and potent enough to tap its potential. Howard Gardner observed, “One can have the best assessment imaginable but unless the accompanying curriculum is of quality, the assessment has no use.”

With the declaration of CCEs as a system of evaluation, the market is flooded with books that claim to help teachers create the right assessments and also provide them with rubrics that are personalised yet based on national standards. With the focus on evaluation, education today has been reduced to the sum total of all evaluations rather than the sum total of all experiences. None of these assessments that are flooding the market are based on the experiences of the student. They are created as standalone packages and can be implemented irrespective of the experiences of the student. The constant evaluations only facilitates the  creation of  teachers who are experts at finding out how well a student is able to retain a collection of facts without being able to find out how experiences at school  shape his/her life. Teachers today have become experts at ‘cracking’ the blueprint of papers and thus students are saddled with ‘sure-shot questions’ or ‘sample papers’.

This is where curriculum plays an important role. When the school integrates the assessments into the teaching-learning process, evaluation becomes a part of the entire educational experience and hence no longer proves to be a traumatic experience. Educationist Alfie Kohn says that there is enough research to substantiate the fact that when the curriculum is engaging, when it involves hands-on experiences and interactive learning activities, students who aren’t graded at all perform just as well as those who are graded (Moeller and Reschke, 1993).

A curriculum that interweaves its assessments so well into its teaching that students do not feel that they are being watched at every moment is the need of the day. This is where Kangaroo Kids plays a very different role in today’s educational space. The curriculum that is well researched and planned integrates into its experiences assessments so seamlessly that they form a part of the whole experience without sticking out like a sore thumb. A quality curriculum that hand holds the student and the teacher by integrating various experiences, cutting through subjects and soaring through the realm of free thinking and creativity is what makes this curriculum stand apart from the rest of the crowd.



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Break the mould

Teenaged Netra lived in the fear of her parents. She believed it was her moral duty to please them by scoring the maximum marks in every subject.   Her mother was very strict and often pushed her to excel in everything. She ensured that Netra went through the rigmarole of classical music and dance. But for Netra the experience was so rigorous and severe that it alienated her from the art form. She dreaded the classes and instead of growing to love it she grew to abhor it.  But her mother was oblivious to the growing resentment in her daughter .She believed that a girl from their community had to be trained in arts to be considered a well reared girl. The mother believed in the mould.

Today Netra is a parent of two teenage kids and during the course of one of our conversations, told me that she had read “The battle hymn of the Tiger mother” by Amy Chua. She could sometimes see her mother and sometimes herself in Amy Chua. She identified with the author and vehemently accepted that she was confused. As an educator I meet scores of parents and know that most who  read the book face the same confusion.  The confusion arises from the clash between their own upbringing and how they feel they should deal with their kids.

The case of extreme parenting as elucidated by Ms.Chua strikes a raw chord in almost every Indian parent of this generation .Most parents who have teenage kids face the similar dilemma as experienced by Ms.Netra. In trying to keep up pace with the highly competitive world, we want our kids to excel in everything resulting in the development of unnecessary emotional and social pressure. Most parents of this generation are, sadly, victims of this scenario themselves. Ask any engineer or doctor today, he/she will tell you how his/her youth was wasted over exams, exams and more exams.  Yet as a parent he/ she fears today that if not pushed their kids would not be as successful as they are today.

And here is where I would want each one of you to pause and think. Reflect on your own experiences. How different do you think life would have been if you had followed your heart and given vent to your creative thinking? What is, then your definition of success? Is success measured only in terms of clearing exams or would you rather measure success in a way that will enhance your child’s personality?

The human brain is capable of immense learning .The potential to learn is maximum at an early age and it is wise to tap this at an early age. But while doing so, one needs to be equally careful of what impact our actions could have on the subconscious mind of the child.  A very harsh and authoritarian parent can foster only negativity in the mind of the child towards the task and the task master (the parent or the teacher in question here). Many parents believe that only punishment can rectify. One doesn’t ‘rectify’ a child. An able parent will be one who gauges the impact of his or her action not in the immediate frame of time but in a lifelong perspective.

Little Roshan in preschool was upset that he made mistakes while writing the alphabets and this angered his mom. He refused to go to school as in his mind Mama was angry with him because of school. We had to speak to Roshan‘s mama to let her know that he was only learning and it was ok for him to pace ahead at his own speed. He did not have to fit the mould in her mind.

Child hood fears and scars sometimes surface in the adult age of an individual. Parents can be really pushy at times trying to relive their childhood dreams through their children. Reality shows show aggressive child participants and even more aggressive parents. What does the child of a pushy argumentative parent learn? He learns that one needs to be over competitive. He never learns to lose with grace. He never learns that failure is not the end; it is in fact a stone to progress.

But that also doesn’t mean that a parent acts only to keep his child happy. A permissive parent too doesn’t succeed. Children need role models and a parent who says ok to everything is not ok for the child. Children grow up thinking that my parent never thinks about what I do or why I do that .He/ she doesn’t care about me. A highly unregulated environment could also misguide the child.

Netra now  knows that there is no right or wrong style of parenting. What are important are the practices she sets up for the children in such a way that the child feels cocooned and safe and yet grows up daring to be adventurous.

Confusion is bound to be around as each child is different.Ms. Chua imposed certain rules on both her daughters. Her elder one heard her out but these rules  held no water for the younger one .The same style of parenting will not work .Each child is different and demands a different strategy. As much as we would want, it is difficult to treat all our children alike. I feel that we need to differentiate, so as to ensure that we allow each one to develop his or her own traits. Do we treat all our colleagues in the same way? No, we have different perspectives for each one and decide our strategy based on what his or her personality is.

And this is what we need to do when we deal with our kids too. Each kid is an individual in his own right and we need to treat them that way. Nurture as you go along and proudly watch your child find his own way. Do not make the mould and try to fit him into it. Break the mould. Let him mould himself. Just be the wind under the wings and see him soar to glory...........

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The age of the Entrepreneur

Speaking to Raj and Amit, both who are entrepreneurs in today’s market, I realised how the skill to take initiative is one that we consciously need to develop in our kids. Both are successful business men who decide to strike it out on their own for personal and professional reasons. Both agreed that it was only in their thirties that they had decided to do this and one of the key motivational factors was to be their own boss. They did not want to work for someone else. Moreover they enjoyed the fact that they could take the risk and push the envelope.  It brought out their hidden leadership skills and the sense of responsibility to their own ambition. 

As parents we regularly ask our kids “What did you do today?’”But how often do we ask them, “What did you begin today?” Do we actually believe that innovation and the need to take initiative are skills that kids need to develop? When we think of ‘new’ we usually think of new products. 

Do we think of new ideas, new beliefs and new notions that we can cultivate in a child’s mind? Ever observed a four year old with a toy train? He wants to know what makes it run and usually tries to open it up to figure out what makes it run.  Do we let him? No, we fear he might get hurt or at times worry how costly the toy train is. Systematically we destroy every initiative he makes to unravel mysteries for himself. Soon he curbs his curiosity and stops taking initiative. Parents love compliance. It just easier to manage a quiet, compliant kid than a thinking, questioning, curious little brat.  

When I began Kangaroo Kids, Entrepreneurship was not what a parent usually wanted his/ her child to be in. But the scenario is fast changing. The age of the Entrepreneur is here. We have moved from the Industrial Age into the Conceptual age and now is the time to heed to Seth Godin who says POKE THE BOX. 

The last century belonged to people who were ready to think out of the box. Innovation was the key to success and one needed to rebel against set rules if one had to move above the crowd. We are a generation that is unlearning what we learnt .But are we still teaching our kids the same? We have to teach them to not just think out of the box but to poke the box. The space above the crowd is also getting crowded now. With increased awareness about thought processes that can move and shake the world, we have travelled over a decade into the new millennium and the time for a paradigm shift in thought process is slowly hovering over the horizon. 

With job markets getting stale and economies going for a toss, the biggest alternative that an individual today has is to strike it out on his own. His conviction, his passion fuelled by his needs will determine the trajectory he chooses to follow. If Robert Frost took the path less trodden, the winner of tomorrow needs to tread the path that he decides to create for himself.

And this is where we can gift our kids with the biggest skill and attitude of the times: the guts to initiate.  Seth Godin’s book talks about how to take initiative at the corporate level but the insights he offers can just be transferred to parenting.

Just ask your kids to write down two lists: What they are allowed to do and what they are not (by you). You will find that they are able to complete the longer ‘not allowed’ list faster than they are able to complete the ‘allowed’ list. This is because its innate human nature to remember what he is not allowed to do as that gives him the choice to rebel against it. Ask him what he would want to do the most in the not allowed list (and if it doesn’t fall in the realm of endangering life, then let him take the initiative to do it.) 

Boundaries are usually in the mind. We have so many boundaries for ourselves that we transfer the boundaries to our kids. So the next time you daughter tells you she wants to be a rock star, get her a guitar. Let her poke the box.

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Evaluating the evaluation systems

What is the purpose of education? Why do we send our children to schools? What do we expect out of a fifteen year process? These are the questions that matter the most when we think about educational systems and its impact on society.

Toppers in English who can’t speak a grammatically correct sentence in English to toppers in Mathematics who can’t apply their knowledge in daily life situations are no different from the dropouts who appear at the other end of the spectrum. Where is the system then regularly and systematically churning out individuals who are ‘educated’ ‘marks –heavy’ but highly unskilled and market ‘un-ready’?

All these questions lead us to the one place where our education system has faltered: the Examination and evaluation systems that we have in place in our schools and colleges. Following the historically set systems of the British who wanted educated Indians who could read and write like an English man but work like an Indian, we still have courses that are content heavy and exams that test retention of content.

With rising voices of dissent among educators and the globalisation bringing alternative educational practises to our door steps, the Gigantic Indian education system has woken to the need to change these patterns.

And The Continuous comprehensive Evaluation system was introduced in schools by the Central and State governments. 

It’s almost two years now that the Continuous Comprehensive evaluation has been accepted by most schools across the country. Hailed as revolutionary and forward looking, aiming to clear the mess that the evaluations systems are in, as they existed in our country, the CCEs seemed to be an answer to all the ills that plagued the old Giant.

Rubrics to grade students meant a variety of parameters for each and every aspect of the task at hand. The student would now be graded on not just what he thought about a book but also on why he thought it, and how he presented the work. Ah! Weren’t we covering every little thing? Wasn’t it so objective now? We didn’t leave much to the teacher’s discretion. Oh, she could not now be partial and impose her thought process on the write up! Yes, we had rectified the process or so did the world of educators and evaluators think.

Has this pattern really changed anything? Has it made us better educators or has it enabled creation of better learners? Loop holes as huge as creators on the moon are staring at our face today. The life of a student is suddenly surrounded only be tests and exams: some announced and some unannounced. If the school offers 6 subjects for a fifth grader then he is scrutinised almost 96 to 120 times in a single academic year! 

Teachers have turned into data entry points, with each teacher filling up sheets and sheets of data regarding the various parameters being tested .Teachers have to observe up to 60 students in a class on a daily basis and fill in observation charts.  Given that each teacher deals with at least 5 classes that comes to 300 students a day.  So that means that a teacher needs to observe ever 300 students respond to debates, discussion, behave with friends and react to situations on a daily basis with a highly balanced mind.  That’s not a tall order, or is it?

How eager will be a child to write an essay when he knows that each aspect of his essay will be graded? His concentration on parts will lead him away from the whole. The details take over the bigger picture. Earlier we were testing the end product but now we are testing the entire process. And that has taken away the fun of learning. The process is equally stress filled now.

Feedback has to be qualitative .Kids need to know how they can write better or how they can apply their math better. They need not be told that 50 % of what they have done is right or that their writing is within acceptable standards. They need to know why the other 50 % is wrong and what can be done to improve that. They need to be told writing is meant to free the mind and express their inner selves. They need to be prepared for the ‘real world’ which is beyond marks, rubrics and grades.

We need to evaluate our evaluating systems.

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What am I telling my kids?

Twenty five year old Gaurav is an engineering graduate. With a GPA of 10 all through his academic career, Gaurav does not know what it is to be the second best. Having moved three jobs he is unable to stick to any job for more than three months. He cannot handle criticism. Gaurav’s father, Rajesh just doesn’t know what to do.

Rajesh and Rakhi never had a ‘bad day’ at Gaurav’s school. Intellectually gifted, every Open House was a proud day in their lives. Report cards on how their son was the future of the country adorned Gaurav’s book shelves. Topping almost every competitive exam, entering the best engineering college in the country to being handpicked at the campus placement for the most lucrative job, Gaurav had done it all.

But today he is on shaky grounds. He rarely agrees with his boss and his juniors tease him. His name is synonymous with a loner. He is never a team player.

Where had Rajesh and Rakhi faltered?

Though they motivated him to study and excel, they never let him develop his friends. He never went for birthday parties. He usually got books and computer games as gifts. Never was he gifted board games or anything that he could do in a group. He spent lonely evenings as a child, pouring over his books when his age kids were out in the streets having fun.  Ever confident that academic success will ensure success in life, his parents displayed all his medals on the showcase for all to see. Each time he saw the medals he was reminded that he had to deliver a perfect show next time round too.

Parents carry their own baggage while rearing their kids. At times they never grow up to be adults themselves. The child in them wants to take refuge in their own parents, the system and every external source of strength rather than their own inner one. They do not evolve themselves nor do they allow their kids to evolve. Evolution happens when you break the norm.

Parents who transfer their ambitions to their children and try to live their dreams through them do not realise how their actions can prove detrimental to the future of their kids. The pressure to measure up to the expectations of the parent plays on their mind. Once they begin to succeed, they begin to exert the pressure of having to rise up to their own expectations. Any failure lowers their self esteem.

Gaurav, today, is looking out for help to restore his self esteem

Are you nurturing a Gaurav in your house?

Three year old Nishith refused to go to school one fine day. Try as much his parents couldn’t convince him to go to school. The teachers also grew worried. As far as they knew, Nishith enjoyed school. He picked up things fast. And he really had a good time in school. What had gone wrong? So his teacher went home. While speaking to him, she realised that the day prior to the one he stopped school; he had made a mistake while doing his writing. Though the teacher had only corrected him, he was reprimanded by his mother very severely for this mistake. And Little Nishith was upset and angry at himself and the school. The school had made Mama angry with him. He wouldn’t come to school. He wouldn’t make any more mistakes. Mama wouldn’t get angry with him and that was all that mattered in the life of little Nishith.

My next case spans three generations. Raghunath Singh, from the First Generation believed that children should only be seen and not heard. A military incumbent, he believed only in ordering his kids like he did his soldiers. His word was always the final. His kids had no say in any decision what so ever. He never asked for their opinion. He believed that kids were meant to be implicitly obedient.

Rahil, his teenage son grew up an angry man. Angry with his father for never letting him do what he wanted as a child, he rebelled against Raghunath Singh. He refused to join the army, walked out of his home in Punjab, ran away to Bombay (as it was called in those days) and struck it out on his own. Slowly and surely he built up his own business and became a successful business man. He lived life king size.

This second generation father was thrilled to see his son Tanay growing up into a strapping young lad. The rebel in Rahil ensured that he would do nothing that his father did. He let Tanay do what he wanted. Tanay grew up to be a free spirited boy who never knew any boundaries. No limits were set for him. The best schools, the best books, the best movies, the best toys, the best parties among his group of friends: Tanay had them all.

His father is the ‘coolest’ father in his gang. His friends envy him. Rahil never denies Tanay anything. He is constantly praised for everything he does.

Tanay today is confused. He is unsure of himself. He lacks a sense of direction in life. He doesn’t know if his father Rahil can give him any answers. He feels his father is a good friend but doesn’t know to whom to turn to when he needs a philosopher or guide. His father does not exude the comfort that he seeks .He lacks faith. His father failed to nurture faith in him.

The main issue which stalks all the above cases is the lack of communication. All parents, Rajesh and Rakhi, Raghunath Singh or Rahil, all failed to communicate with their children. They projected visions of what a ‘child’ is to their children. They tried to mould them in that manner. They never tried to find out what the kids wanted.

Gaurav is product of the parents’ misplaced pride in success and achievement.

Rahil is a product of misplaced regulations and discipline.

Tanay is a product of misplaced anger.

When was the last time you shook yourselves up and thought: What am I telling my kids?

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